Archive for the 'Traffic tales' Category

Deer-butt stops highway traffic

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Our morning ride into work, complete with coffee-filled thermoses and music ranging from The Flaming Lips’ “Yoshimi Battle the Pink Robots, Pt. 1″ to “John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt (AKA, the DaDaDaDaDaDaDaDa song)”,  is one of a unpredictable nature. It entails a cruising through a series of highways, both big and small, after dropping the kids off at daycare. In summer months, with kids home from school and families vacationing, the I-270 corridor moves quickly, beckoning one to open the sunroof or put the top down. In mid- to late-August, things change. Lets just say, you get to plenty of time to memorize the license plate number of the guy in front of you, and the occasional opportunity to test the quickness and dexterity of your middle finger. Today, appears to be the start of traffic season, which offers the exquisite occasion to share the unique and sometimes shocking events of our suburban traffic adventures.

We had a late start today, packing the kids, coffees, computer, iPods, cell phones and paint (yes, paint) into the car around 8. After dropping the kids off, we meandered the sidestreets, funnelling ourselves onto the local subsidary leading into I-270. Doing about 60mph, La, la, la…listening to music, blah, blah, blah… talking to one another, chug, chug, chug…drinking our coffee, when (whoa) traffick flow slowed to a drizzle. About a half a mile out of I-270, we began our creepy crawl toward the interstate. Reaching the on-ramp, we peered out the passenger-side window to witness an unfortunate but relatively frequent highway-related accident. A deer, full in size and intact, was lying on the utility lane having likely been fatally struck by a car. No one likes to see this. It’s a bad situation all around; on the deer’s part obviously, but the driver’s vehicle is often left damaged as well. Who knows when or how it happened but due to it’s positioning, the deer’s butt was left facing the merging traffic. Well, it is amazing how such an incidental event can trigger the gawkers to gawk and the rubberneckers to twist and turn. Hard to imagine that a deer butt could be so damn interesting, but indeed it was, since traffic eased up immediately after passing it. ”Honey, did you get a load of that fine-looking deer ass? Mind you don’t spill your coffee, but turn around and take a look. Mmm, that’s mighty fine...” What’s up with these people? Just another thing that makes you go, “Hmmmm”.